psychotic-clarity:

zenmonsters:

So in Cabin in the Woods, why don’t the monsters have a shut-off switch? For a group so extensively meticulous, that seems like a stupid thing to leave out…especially since they have an emergency purge system.

Um they do? They have a neutralizing gas that one of the creatures chewed through and made null and void….

I meant why didn’t they implant knock-out chips into the monsters.

Source: zenmonsters

abhortion:

can I just say how ridiculously lucky you Americans are to have that petition system? it’s not great, it’s got plenty of problems, and there’s no guarantee that any petition that reaches the signature limit is going to become reality, but it is a way of contacting the government that very few people around the world have the privilege of doing so. 

And instead of cherishing it and using properly, I’ve seen petitions asking to change the national anthem to some stupid song; I’ve seen petitions wanting to ban men from driving (seriously, guys?); I’ve seen petitions about Obama re-enacting The Incredibles. And each one of these had thousands of signatures. 

Where I grew up, you didn’t have much hope of persuading the government to do anything, unless you were wearing a flashy Rolex in one hand, and holding a suitcase full of money in the other. And you know what happens in China? Citizens set up websites dedicated to photographing government officials wearing expensive watches that there is no way they could have afforded on their official salaries, thus indicating corruption. Meanwhile, Americans have a direct way of contacting and bringing issues up to the government, but are too busy trying to stop straight men from driving. 

Pathetic.

(via noyka)

Source: abhortion

justthestupidparts: fearsomefatties: widdershinsgirl: decemberpaladin: thatpointlessidiot: magnezone: krudman: smilingemoticon: itsvondell: voldey: Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse.  wow is this a joke because i’m not laughing at all I thought to myself when I saw this, “no. This has to be some one being silly. This has to be something some one fabricated to make microsoft look worse and people just aren’t checking the source.” NOPE. IT’S REAL. AND IT GOT WORSE: WHAT. remember when the basic fucking concept of a commodity was that buying something meant it was yours  I want everyone to think long and hard on this information. This means that you are not buying your games.  You are paying 60+ dollars to rent the games from Microsoft, and they can take their game back whenever they feel like it. You will not own your game.  You will not own your console.  Essentially, Microsoft is saying “We can disable your games and cut you off from accessing your console whenever we choose to.”  Because a ban that locks your XBox Live account means that you will be locked out from all non-game functionality of the system, and by revoking your ‘licenses’ on all your games associated with your account, they can then disable each and every game you own for the system.  Leaving you with a five hundred dollar cable receiver.  Or, in the case of most users of the console, a five hundred dollar paperweight. All because you accidentally walked into some online glitch and the rest of the players rage-report you for cheating. This is unacceptable.  Buy any console but an XBox One.  Do not support Microsoft’s sudden belief that they own everything despite our purchase of it, and we have to prove we’re worthy of being shared with by paying exorbitant fees and jumping through constant hoops and hoping someone doesn’t report us for cheating because we made them mad in an online game. Tell Microsoft ‘No,’ and do not give them your hard-earned money for what amounts to a video game subscription service with a $500 starting fee and $60+ dollar purchases. Haahahahahaha jesus christ what a shitshow. As of right now, I will buy certain new games for my Xbox 360, but I will NOT lay down additional money for an Xbone. So, Microsoft, how is it down there in that hole you dug yourself? HOLY FUCKING WHAT. Last console generation, I had to choose between the PS3 and the XBOX 360. The 360 seemed (to my untrained eye, I’m not much of a gamer) to have a bigger library, but a lot of it is sports games…and since I was familiar with the Playstation and wanted some of the PS3 exclusives, I went with a PS3. But I thought at the time that maybe I would have enough money during the next generation to pick up both a “PS4” and a “XBOX 720” (or whatever they ended up being called). NOPE. At this point, this drama needs popcorn. Never have I been happier to be a pc gamer
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justthestupidparts:

fearsomefatties:

widdershinsgirl:

decemberpaladin:

thatpointlessidiot:

magnezone:

krudman:

smilingemoticon:

itsvondell:

voldey:

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse. 

wow

is this a joke because i’m not laughing at all

I thought to myself when I saw this, “no. This has to be some one being silly. This has to be something some one fabricated to make microsoft look worse and people just aren’t checking the source.”

NOPE. IT’S REAL.

AND IT GOT WORSE:

WHAT.

remember when the basic fucking concept of a commodity was that buying something meant it was yours 

I want everyone to think long and hard on this information.

This means that you are not buying your games.  You are paying 60+ dollars to rent the games from Microsoft, and they can take their game back whenever they feel like it.

You will not own your game.  You will not own your console.  Essentially, Microsoft is saying “We can disable your games and cut you off from accessing your console whenever we choose to.”  Because a ban that locks your XBox Live account means that you will be locked out from all non-game functionality of the system, and by revoking your ‘licenses’ on all your games associated with your account, they can then disable each and every game you own for the system.  Leaving you with a five hundred dollar cable receiver.  Or, in the case of most users of the console, a five hundred dollar paperweight.

All because you accidentally walked into some online glitch and the rest of the players rage-report you for cheating.

This is unacceptable.  Buy any console but an XBox One.  Do not support Microsoft’s sudden belief that they own everything despite our purchase of it, and we have to prove we’re worthy of being shared with by paying exorbitant fees and jumping through constant hoops and hoping someone doesn’t report us for cheating because we made them mad in an online game.

Tell Microsoft ‘No,’ and do not give them your hard-earned money for what amounts to a video game subscription service with a $500 starting fee and $60+ dollar purchases.

Haahahahahaha jesus christ what a shitshow.

As of right now, I will buy certain new games for my Xbox 360, but I will NOT lay down additional money for an Xbone.

So, Microsoft, how is it down there in that hole you dug yourself?

HOLY FUCKING WHAT.

Last console generation, I had to choose between the PS3 and the XBOX 360. The 360 seemed (to my untrained eye, I’m not much of a gamer) to have a bigger library, but a lot of it is sports games…and since I was familiar with the Playstation and wanted some of the PS3 exclusives, I went with a PS3. But I thought at the time that maybe I would have enough money during the next generation to pick up both a “PS4” and a “XBOX 720” (or whatever they ended up being called).

NOPE.

At this point, this drama needs popcorn.

Never have I been happier to be a pc gamer

Source: voldey

onceupon-alonelyheart: cancerously: soldier-out-of-time: captainamericasbiggestfan: soldier-out-of-time: captainamericasbiggestfan: soldier-out-of-time: captainamericasbiggestfan: soldier-out-of-time: to-see-floating-lanterns-gleam: soldier-out-of-time: ask-the-mockingbird: AYE AYE CAPTAIN! AYE AYE CAPTAIN! CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS! CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS! CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS! THIS IS THE BEST POST ON THE INTERNET EVERYONE ELSE GO THE FUCK HOME I sang this… in my head I sang this… 
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onceupon-alonelyheart:

cancerously:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

to-see-floating-lanterns-gleam:

soldier-out-of-time:

ask-the-mockingbird:

AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

image

AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

image

image

CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

image

CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

image

CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

image

THIS IS THE BEST POST ON THE INTERNET EVERYONE ELSE GO THE FUCK HOME

I sang this… in my head I sang this… 

(via fuckyeah-nerdery)

Source: soldier-out-of-time

victusinveritas: heirofmedusa: mira-of-sassgard: backinthe67impala: sirisles: dixiesaurer: aaronwarner-anderson: mongezeas: g0kudera: sarahdesdemona: ninth-level-of-awesome: I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals. Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!” Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband. Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well. You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA. …I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet. i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge thanks tumblr Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious. If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something. PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN I fucking love this website I think we just found Dexter’s blog, guys. Or you could just put it in a barrel of hydroflouric acid. The body will dissolce and you can dispose of the barrel at a toxic waste area. The cartels have been known to do this. I’m a traditionalist: Crossroads, Quicklime, and Shallow Graves.Or, you know, something in the vein of the Taman Shud case. If you’re dumping the body in the river and don’t want to cut them all to pieces, just cut open the stomach. That way the body won’t float. Alternatively, if you can, dump the body into a tire fire. The rubber will fuse to the body which will destroy any evidence and make it nearly impossible to so much as get an ID.
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victusinveritas:

heirofmedusa:

mira-of-sassgard:

backinthe67impala:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”

Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.

Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.



You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.

…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.

If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

I fucking love this website

I think we just found Dexter’s blog, guys.

Or you could just put it in a barrel of hydroflouric acid. The body will dissolce and you can dispose of the barrel at a toxic waste area.

The cartels have been known to do this.

I’m a traditionalist: Crossroads, Quicklime, and Shallow Graves.
Or, you know, something in the vein of the Taman Shud case.


If you’re dumping the body in the river and don’t want to cut them all to pieces, just cut open the stomach. That way the body won’t float.

Alternatively, if you can, dump the body into a tire fire. The rubber will fuse to the body which will destroy any evidence and make it nearly impossible to so much as get an ID.

Source: actualadvicemallard